Gaining Trust
69Trust is one of those things that is earned and not given freely. Gaining someone's trust is something that comes with time and proven loyalty. To earn trust, a person must prove his/her level of honesty. Respect goes hand in hand with trust. Without it, there can be no trust.
When you think about it, would you trust someone you don't respect? I wouldn't because there is obviously a reason for the lack of respect. To trust someone that doesn't respect you enough to be honest with you is foolish. If you feel you can trust someone, then by all means, trust them. I believe most people are good for the most part.
After living the life I have, however, for me to trust anyone is difficult to do. If you have lived with constant lies and deceit, it becomes very difficult to trust even people you know well. Usually, when dealing with new people, if they are deceptive, you will get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. I have found that it is best to trust that.
If you want to earn someone's trust, be honest with them. When you do that, you will be being honest with yourself. Trust will be earned in time. After the trust is there, there is an elevated confidentiality present. At that time, a friendship begins to grow on a solid foundation. Out of this relationship comes, trust, respect and friendship. It takes time, but it is well worth it.
HELP ME FIGHT ABUSE.Post your stories on my website at www.survivingthestorms.com so that others in your situation may be helped.
Thank you so much! Feel free to visit my website, there is more there.
When you have been hurt it is difficult to learn to trust again
Yes, it is very difficult, but it is important to not judge people on the basis of someone else, you might just pass up someone really wonderful!
i have lied several times to my partner and now i have lost her trust. i want so bad for her to trust me again. i am so sorry and so hurt for what i've done, can you please give me some advice on how to gain this trust back again. thank you.
The first thing I can tell you is to start by telling her the truth about the lies you have told her. It takes time to regain trust. If she is willing to give you an opprotunity to regain her trust, that is a good sign. In order for it to work, you will have to never lie to her. If there is even the smallest thing, and you don't think it will matter, you must tell her. When you omit information, it is no different that telling her lies. If she should check out anything you say, she must find that everything you have said is truth. Eventually, she will begin to trust you again. Be patient with her.
My brother's girlfriend has an eating disorder. I know she has a difficult time trusting people. She is sensitive and I don't want to say or do anything to hurt her and lose her trust. Do you have any ideas on how I can earn her trust and at the same time be sensitive to her feelings?
early on in my relationship i was unfaithful. i love this man dearly and beleive he's worth fighting for. i'm trying my hardest to prove this to him and gain his trust back but nothing seems to be working. he also can't open up to me so i never know how he's feeling. can you help me to gain his trust again and encourage him to talk more?
How long have you been together? It isn't easy to regain his trust and will take a lot of time. In order for him to tell you how he feels, he has to feel comfortable talking to you. You must stay on point with him always. If he wants to remain in the relationship, he will open up to you. Feel free to email me at freecreative1@yahoo.com I will help all I can. Hang in there.
we have been together for 6 months now and it was in the first month i cheated. i know it going to take some time for him to trust me but how do i get him to talk to me. i also know he definatly wants this relationship he loves me but he wont touch me because thats all he thinks of when hes with me. how can i show him how sorry i am.
my sincerest thanks :)
i was high i took my friends drug without persmmision becasue i was tempted to get high more and i got caught, and the said im a theive now im really upset becasue they are really my life my true friends it was something i regret so much tat i wish there was a time machine . i dun know what shld i do really =(
they said it was not about the money is a bout the trust and i promised them i wont get high anymore but i broke my promises over and over again .damn regretfull someone please advise my .
they said it was not about the money is a bout the trust and i promised them i wont get high anymore but i broke my promises over and over again .damn regretfull someone please advise my .
I really love this post! It is well-writen. I agree with everything in what you are saying here! This is something that most people need to take seriously while developing a relationship! Trust and honesty go hand and hand. If a person doesn't keep a promise they cannot be trusted. Most people have forgetten the foundation of trust in a relationship by which I don't know why! I never understood most people who say well you must open up, without putting trust in the picture! If you don't, so many of them get mad and offended!
Please can you give me any advice.
I met the most wonderful man online about 8 weeks ago and he has been through a lot in his life including his own family trying to murder him for his wealth. He was subjected to mental and physical cruelty as a child as was I and anyone he has ever cared about has always ended up hurting him just like my ex's have done to me.
I've always been an honest open and direct woman and I've given people my trust until a time comes when they break my trust.
We have fallen in love with each other in a very big way and we want to be together.
The problem is is that he has a lot of conflict going on around him just now and he still has issues of mistrust for which he is seeking professional help because he is so afraid to meet me in case I hurt him.
I've been honest with him from the start and he knows all there is to know about me and I know everything about him but how can I make him see and understand that I am different from those that hurt him.
This upsets me on a daily basis and it's breaking my heart because we are not together in person and upto now our relationship is all based on phone calls morning, noon and night.
The other problem is that he fears for my safety because I am mixedrace and his family are racist and do not approve of us being together.
What can I say or do to earn his trust so that we can be together and live the happy lives that we crave for?
I never want to lose him because it's taken me 33 years to find a decent honest loving man.
Thanks.
xxxx
Your solution to this is going to be multifaceted. You will have to be very patient with him and give him plenty of time. It is good that he is getting help for his trust issues and I am sure that will help. What you can do to help him, is to constantly reassure him and let him know that you are not going to hurt them. You are NOT them, and you care about him and how he feels, and what he thinks. It will take time. He can't let his family call the shots for his life, he should realize that they are out to hurt him, therefore, he should not let them influence his life decisions. Coming from an abusive family, they can't possibly care about what happens to him.
It sounds like this is a for real relationship and not a fly by night internet love affair. I wish you the best of luck, and let me know how things are going for you. I will keep you in my prayers. I can tell you that there is life after hurt, and love feels wonderful! Hang in there!
i need advice?
my wife has filed for divorce. I made a mistake and she does not trust me. She also said that after what her father did to their family, she has not trusted him since. I feel she is seeing his action in me.
Can I get her to trust me again? What can I do?
Thank you
when me and my husband were dating he cheated on me with someone else. he apologized and cried and swore to me he was being honest about everything and it only happened once so i forgave him and tried to start trusting him again. a few weeks later i discovered it actually happened numerous times through out the entire course of our relationship. we broke up at that point but later that very same day i found out i was pregnant. again he cried all night and told me how much he needed me and swore that he would be completely open and get help because he wanted to be with me. after about a month i gave in and we got back together. we are now married and i am 8 months pregnant and already it has come to light that he is looking thru the personal adds on craigslist and when confronted about it he admitted he is going on there and masturbating to the photos but not contacting anyone anymore.
i love my husband intensly(hence why i keep going back) and i want my baby to have a father but every time i start trusting him again something like this comes up. should i accept what hes doing now and appreciate that hes not meeting up with them anymore and recognize hes trying? can i even trust that he hasnt contacted anyone?
i know he needs to change too but how can i learn to trust him again? i am honest and open with him about everything because thats what i long for in the relationship, but i dont feel like i get that from him. and all the time and patience i try to give seems wasted when i see what hes doing.
should i try to stay and trust him or leave?
I have been talking to this guy for almost 3 weeks how do i gain his trust
I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, and a few months ago an ex bf of mine from 2 years ago (only dated 2 months, nothing sexual)now married. Well a few months ago when he text me he was engaged, he asked if we could hang out so he could say goodbye to me and my nieces before him and his fiance moved to Kansas, I said yes. So he came over all of were hanging out. I didn't tell my boyfriend because i didn't want to say i was stupid or something. Well that night he looked through my phone for the 1st time and saw that i had seen him, he broke up with me. He was angry. I felt horrible. We got back together a week later. But je still thinks i lie. I don't know what to do. I am always honest with him its like the more i am honest with him he doesn't trust me.
IVE BEEN WITH MY BOTFRIEND FOR 4 MONTHS NOW I CARE ALOT ABOUT HIM WE HAVE BEEN THRU SO MUCH AND IVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HONEST WITH HIM BUT HE FEELS LIKE I LIE TO HIM BECAUSE I CANT BE OPEN WITH HIM IM TRYING MY BEST EVEN TAKING COUPLES COUNSELING BUT I NEED HIM TO TRUST ME SOON IT KILLS ME THAT HE THINKS I LIE TO HIM WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!
IVE BEEN WITH MY BOTFRIEND FOR 4 MONTHS NOW I CARE ALOT ABOUT HIM WE HAVE BEEN THRU SO MUCH AND IVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HONEST WITH HIM BUT HE FEELS LIKE I LIE TO HIM BECAUSE I CANT BE OPEN WITH HIM IM TRYING MY BEST EVEN TAKING COUPLES COUNSELING BUT I NEED HIM TO TRUST ME SOON IT KILLS ME THAT HE THINKS I LIE TO HIM WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!
I been dating my man for over a year and half I lie to him about other boy nothing serious my I confess the next day how can I prove myself to him to make him trust in me again our relationship is very serious.
I knew she really liked me and I liked her no loved her. Well one day I was SO stressed out that I went off on her for no reason. Even then she was still talkn to me and I made it. Worse so I manned up and apologized and she said it was oke and gave me a hug. Now the real challenge earning her trust back.
Im fourty my girl frend is 44 we met on a online dateing service. We dated for a few weeks then we didnt see each other for a few months. We got back intouch with each other and been dateing for about 3 months now. She has to adult children i have one adult child a teenageer and two adolessent childern.We spend alot of time togather we talk everyday im falling in love with this girl. I.ve been lied to in the past alot and as optmistic as i am it didnt turn out good in the past. Now when i first met the girl im with now i was dateing i didnt expect this to happen with her she is a fantastic lady. And i lied to her i told her i had two children. Then in conversation i told her i had three. Now i was planning on telling her. I gave her son a job working with me and my son and my son y what i did and he was sapose to keep it cool intell i told her and he got mad at me during work and told her son. Im like 90% posative she knows and i had the opratunaty to tell her and i didnt. I dont want to loose this girl.. what do i do
Hi, I lied to my boyfriend about seeing my sons dad, we didnt do anything I was just letting him see my son. But my boyfriend wants to be my sons dad and his real dad is no good. Also I judged him for going out with his mates and his problem scitzophenia, I started texting another boy behind his back. I thought he was in the wrong but the whole 6 months he done nothing to me, I done things to him just because I have been hurt 5 times in the past. I love him with all my heart, he is everything to me and I gave him crap last night on the phone accusing him of clubbing when I was in the wrong :'( I feel so bad, please tell me how to get my true love back. hes not even talking to me. xx
 | Amazon Price: $8.77 List Price: $24.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $9.85 List Price: $16.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $24.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $10.95 List Price: $18.95 |
Kat 5 years ago
I simply love your posts